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ENnies Redux

Before winning the ENnie, I won two awards. The first was the AU Shadows award for best edited publication for GRANTS PASS in 2009. I won it with my co-editor Amanda Pillar. As it was in Australia, I wasn't there. The second award was the Origins award for best roleplaying supplement for the BIG DAMN HEROES HANDBOOK based in the SERENITY/FIREFLY universe. I won it along with my editor and all of the other co-authors. I wasn't there for that ceremony either.

So, I was not prepared for the stress of being at a convention where an awards ceremony was hosted that weekend. I should have known. I watched Seanan go through it last WorldCon for the Campbell. Instead, I arrived thinking this was going to be just another convention.

Boy, was I wrong.

At first, I didn't realize why I was so stressed but Thursday was kind of an emotional mess. It wasn't until late Thursday night where I was tearful confessing to Jeff that I thought my writing career was crumbling into nothing for no good reason that I knew there was something extra going on. Jeff knew it and put his finger on it. The value of my husband knows no bounds.

Still, Friday was a more focused emotional mess. At least I knew what I was worrying about. "There's no way I'm going to win against Posthuman Studios," I would tell Lily and Ryan. And then Ryan would point out that there are two levels of ENnies to win. Plus, when it comes to the ENnies, the honor really in the nomination. The winning is a popularity contest.

(The ENnies are like the Golden Globes – you must be submitted by your peers and then selected by a group of judges. Then, once officially nominated, the public votes. The Origins awards are like the Oscars. The Origins award are voted on by the hobby game retailers at the GAMA Trade Show.)

But I digress. While I was honored, I wanted to win a metal, darn it. And I was so sure that I wouldn't.

Which is why the ceremony was agony. And awesome. What made it better was having the Savage Mojo contingent with me. Aaron (the lead artist on SHANGHAI VAMPOCALYSE) and I spent a lot of time nervously glancing at each other. What made it the best is that Jeff was with me and let me squeeze his hand as hard as I wanted.

So, when my category came up, Best Electronic Book, I was so tightly sprung that I would've popped if anyone had startled me. The moment between "And the winner of the silver ENnie goes to…" and "Shanghai Vampocalypse!" was about an hour long. I remember thinking, "If they don't say Shanghai here, that's it. I'm done." But they did say it and there was shrieking to be had. I don't remember the shrieking but it's been confirmed by a couple people around me.

The very best thing about accepting the award was getting to look out at the audience, see Jeff, and thank him as part of my acceptance speech. I've always dreamed of thanking Jeff at an awards ceremony because, really, without his support, I don't know how far I would get.

The convention stress was gone after the win. That's when I remembered I hadn't eaten since lunch. So, my advice to those of you up for an award and those of you who love the nominated: understand the stress and make sure to eat (or get them to eat).

There are an awful lot of cool things coming my way, partly due to winning this award. Partly because I earned it. For now, I'm happy to ride the memories of the terror and joy of the ceremony.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 12th, 2011 08:00 pm (UTC)
Ack, I'm all teary (not in a bad way).

You, my friend, have worked so very hard and I'm so happy for you that you're making a go of it and living your dream. Seriously, so very happy.

Congratulations again on your ENnie :)
Aug. 12th, 2011 08:16 pm (UTC)
Congrats. You deserve it.
Aug. 12th, 2011 08:24 pm (UTC)
Congratulations :)
Aug. 13th, 2011 12:25 am (UTC)
Aug. 13th, 2011 01:59 am (UTC)
Aug. 13th, 2011 12:56 pm (UTC)
Congrats. Sorry to not be there this year.
Aug. 13th, 2011 05:03 pm (UTC)
hahaha that is SO awesome! You've earned it! Congratulations!
Aug. 14th, 2011 03:11 am (UTC)
Congrats! That's awesome!
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )